Friday, June 15, 2007

Is There Anyone Out There...

'cause its getting harder and harder to breathe!

Wow, what a maelstrom of activity this last two weeks has been. The move was basically a debacle. They brought the teeny tiniest truck - basically the size of the largest U-haul - to move back what a full-sized semi trailer had brought over. And, no, it didn't all fit - they left a large folding table and Paul's handy dandy wall locker behind and I'm still learning whether they forgot to pack up the stuff that is stored in the drawer under the stove. No, it wasn't fun to watch either. They were late both days due to a crazy comedy of errors, I guess. Traffic the first day and a broken scale the next day. Then, it is supposed to be a direct move, right? Check the map, dear seven loyal readers, and tell me whether a direct move from Grand Rapids, MI to Tomah, WI has any business going via Detroit? So our stuff sat in a parking lot in Detroit Wednesday and Thursday before leaving Friday for our Saturday morning delivery. Fabulous. Were it not for the fact my husband realizes the significance of Nitro in my life, I would not be here today. I would be in a nice, calm sanitarium because stupid people sent me there.

Evidently the rules are different for a military move. When you're moving Military families, you use a lot more boxes, can't move things that you could otherwise (like PAM cooking spray), and they can deliver it whenever the hell they feel like it as long as the Requested Delivery Date is met. When we moved over, it was three days. Pack, Load/ Drive, Deliver. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday - and they came back for the boxes. We'll not discuss the option of help unpacking with a corporate move and the complete lack of such assistance with the Military move. We will also not discuss the fact that the Government will buy your house if you're a civilian who opts to move for professional advancement, but if you've got no choice because you're Military, then you're on your own. Forgive me but I think this is BULLSHIT.

The family is doing well. We're adjusting to new routines for daycare and such while Shrek and I continue to do battle about everything! I just want him to keep his hand out of my pocket. The bank needs to close - know what I mean? AND DO NOT CALL ME A FUCKING TWEAK WHEN YOU'RE ASKING ME FOR MONEY! Then his idiot wants child support lowered. Yes, my children are nearly 18 and 20 and I still get support for them. They'll get it until they have a college degree or quit going. It's a 15 year-old agreement that doesn't need to change as far as I am concerned. Christ. I have given Shrek about $850 this month alone and he's pissing about $25? Yesterday Prince Douchebag (Wow, I absolutely love that name! He will hereafter be known as PDB for Prince Douchebag) asked me if we could sit down and set a flat amount for support lower than what he's paying now. I would rather gouge out my eyes with plastic utensils than sit down with him so I foolishly agreed to hear his offer on Saturday at The Queen's graduation party. Poor bastard doesn't know that my answer to any offer will be "What the fuck are you smoking?" I try not to hate anyone but my dislike of PDB is very, very intense. See? I can too be politically correct!

The Queen dismays me solely by requiring me to be parental. Dammit. She's got Freshman Orientation today at my alma mater. Oh how I don't wanna go. But she's making me and I hate her for it. We have, however, outlined which events I will go to and which there is no way I'm doing. I believe the plan is for me to take her there and pick up her welcome packet, skip the next hour and a half, pick her up for lunch, skip the next 45 minutes and accompany her to her advising session. In return she has agreed to take Personal Finance first semester. I'll show her the beauty of an override if I have to in order to get her in that class. I've also shown her how to tune out the "REACH and SHARE" session with the help of her iPod and wearing her hair down because no one's got one on me when it comes to slacking and ignoring people that bore me while not appearing overtly rude. Stealth is key. Besides, I figure if kids can listen to the Packer game during graduation a little iPod action during orientation won't hurt anyone.

On the job front, my head is spinning, spinning, spinning. My dear friends, after languishing for two years with zero or near zero prospects, I have not one, not two but nearly three job offers. That's right, three. The position I accepted in Market Research and nearly turned down after accepting a position with the PX which I will be turning down because of an agreement I'd be required to sign agreeing to move without my children (aka "take an unaccompanied tour") or stating that I am not willing to be mobile and make my prospects for advancement effectively zero and...

Sit down, people. This is some crazy shit.

I applied at the school where I earned my B.S. degree (yes, people, I have a BS degree it's what makes me so good at it) to be a "pool instructor" meaning I'd teach a class or two as the university needed me to in whichever department in the CBA had the need. The day I came to town for the interviews for the other two jobs, I stopped by to deliver a transcript to the Associate Dean (who happens to be my FIN 485 instructor that gave me an "A" and remembers me well) and chat for a bit because I'm like that, you know? Chatty. It was great to catch up and we did talk about teaching and getting a PhD and all that kind of interesting stuff.

Fast forward to the following week when I get an e-mail from the chair of the Marketing Department saying he's got a copy of my resume and he wants to talk to me about teaching in the Marketing Department. "Cool! I'll be in the Pool!" I think. I can teach a night or a weekend class or two and still do one or the other full-time things. It'll be teaching, which I got my Master's to do and a little extra money.

We agree to meet to discuss this further yesterday afternoon. With me so far? I show up for the meeting stressed out because I'd forgotten to get something other than tennis shoes to wear with my twin set and capris. I had no idea how formal this discussion would be or what to expect, mind you. NO CLUE. But I show up promptly at 1:00 and he's wearing jeans and sandals so I relax. And then I freaked the fuck out.

I interviewed for a full-time instructional academic staff position and knocked it out of the PARK people. He wants me for this job and he wants me ASAP. The offer isn't formal yet. He said he wanted to pass it by the other two tenured faculty in the Marketing Department and needed to pass it by an Associate Dean (yes, that Associate Dean - the one who gave him not only my resume but a glowing recommendation) for approval before extending an offer. He said that one of the two faculty members would likely say "If you like her, she's fine by me too" and the other would want to meet. Then he showed me my office. Then the one that would most likely want to meet me walked in and we, uhm, met. I think it went well. This position would be the same pay as the second job offer, a little less than the first, teaching approximately 160 students in two sections each of two different classes. It is an academic year contract meaning summers off unless I'm asked to teach in the summer in which case it'd pay more and full-time academic staff usually works 25-30 hours per week (so 25-30 hours would pay as much as 40 at job number 2 and just a little less than job number 1). W00t! But no formal offer yet so I am wrestling with what to do. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, right? But I'm still thinking "What the hell?" Nothing for two years and now everything!? My dream job is almost in the palm of my hand. It still amazes me.

After spending yesterday afternoon wondering what to do, I decided to decline the second offer in favor of the first - getting the official offer documents made it a very easy choice and hope that if/when the teaching position materializes, we can work something out. The boss there does seem like the kind of person that would understand and I would be willing to stay part-time if they'd let me. Does that seem fair or do I decline both offers waiting for the third one? I could use some advice here and I could use it by 6:00 Monday morning. Thanks!


Tal said...

Um, wow? Lisa, I can't express how happy I for you right now, I was bouncing a little in my chair at your news, I'm not gonna lie.
a) child support for older children is perfectly acceptable, esp. if you're supporting them, hello. Tell PDB to take a hike.
b) The Queen sounds like she's got it under control, but I have to admit to curiosity at the thought of her hair down. I've only ever seen in it up in a ponytail.
b-2) Personal Finance classes?! I am SO jealous! We totally never had anything like that when I went to school.
c) Sorry about the move. I agree with you on the BS-ness of it all. Good deeds are always rewarded unfortuntely....
d) YAY jobs!!! YAY for GOOD jobs!!! If you're honestly aking, I'd stick it out for the third (but I don't have a family to support so I could afford to be risky like that). I think the way you're doing it now is best. Especially if you're willing to p/t at the first place to mitigate their loss.

Good luck!!!!

janiece said...

HAHA--see I told you that someone would realize how totally wonderful you are--I mean I already knew that you are fricking awesome of course. We'll have to talk tomorrow about this job situation. I'm so excited for you. Tell PDB to kiss your rear end. He helped make the kids--he is responsible to take care of them. Hello--it's called Fatherhood dumbass! Men are such idiots sometimes!!! Except for Ted and Paul of course! Love ya sweetie and I'll see you tomorrow!