Pass me a martini...

I have a migraine. HRH arrived home safely (feeling like garbage for putting me through this I might add) about noon today. Just after the officer left with a description of her and her vehicle.

Ugh. She has been awarded the prize for biggest fuck-up by a Sharp kid EVER. But she is home safe and that makes me happy.

Waiting for Jourdan

Her majesty the Queen didn't come home last night. Sarge, the boys and I left about seven to see some friends and Shrek but the Queen stayed behind. A few minutes after we left, I received a text message from her saying she was going out. We'd previously discussed that she should be home at midnight. We'd been battling about this a bit lately. It was, you know, the classic battle between parent and newly-turned-18 year-old child.

Parent: "Please be home at midnight, okay?"
18yo: "But why? I'm 18 and I have a curfew?"
Parent: "Yes. Not because I don't trust you, but because I worry. It's not you. It's everyone else. Just be home at midnight."
18yo: ~eyeroll~

Parent: "I realize you don't understand this, but someday you will. See, first you're a parasite for 9 months and then I worry about you constantly until I'm dead, okay?"
18yo: "Nice Mom. Okay."

And now it is 11:15 a.m. and I haven't seen her since 6:45p.m. last night.

Worried? Oh Yeah. She's always been the responsible one. A little rebellious lately - staying out until 4:00, but nothing serious. That is what I get for not being clear. Yesterday I was clear. Now, I'm scared.

Should I be?

Four Things Meme

I got it in e-mail but why do that when I can post and tag all of my readers to do the same?

"Four things" about me that you may or may not have known, in no
particular order. Please follow the return direction at the end.

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Certified Nursing Assistant

2.Guest Services Representative

3. Marketing R&D Coordinator

4. Marketing Instructor

Four movies you have watched more than once: (or more than 1000X)

1. Seven

2.National Lampoon's Van Wilder---I have never laughed so hard in my life

3. The Princess Bride
4. The Quiet Man

Four of my favorite books:

1. American Gods (Neil Gaiman)

2. The World is Flat (Thomas Friedman)

3. The Ugly American (by William Lederer - an absolute must-read)

4. The Lorax

Four places I have lived:

1. Sparta, WI

2. Hanau, Germany

3. Steilacoom, WA

4. Kentwood, MI

Four TV Shows That I Watch: (or Tivo)
1.Good Eats

2. Human Weapons

3. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

4. The Colbert Report

Four places I have been
1. Heidelberg, Germany

2. Ulan-Ude, Russia

3.Paris, TX

4. Denver, Colorado

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Ahi Tuna

2. Superior Dark Chocolate

3. Grilled Steak

4. Cheesecake

Four people who email me regularly:
1. JP

2. Paul

3. Pops

4. My mom

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Buryatia

2. Italy

3. Napa Valley

4. In my bed

Things I am looking forward to this year:

1. Figuring out how this whole teaching thing works

2. Redesigning the supply chain class

3. Spring Break

4. Selling our house (hey! I'm an optimist!)

Now it's your turn. Thanks for playing!

I think this might make me a bad person...

Here's the e-mail I sent to my family and friends this morning:

Welcome to Fall! Fall is the time for back to school, leaves changing and the dreaded school fundraiser. All the adorable kids come home carrying their order sheets and catalogs imploring you to PLEASE buy some lovely over priced wrapping paper or candy or maybe some low-quality and over priced knick-knack you never knew you needed.

Well, this year I've decided not to send my adorable kid around with the catalog or send out a link for you to buy on the web. I'm not buying a darn thing and I don't want you to either. I'm making a donation - 100% pure profit directly to the PTO and I'd like you to do the same. Instead of spending $20 on the stuff he's selling, I'd really love a $5.00 donation to the LaGrange PTO from you. Give more if you'd like - or less. It doesn't matter. I would love to help Kostya's school get the things they need and offer the programming that they do, but I just don't see that selling stuff is the answer. Help if you can and want to by sending a check made out to LaGrange PTO to:

(our address)

I will pass them along to the PTO since I think getting all those random checks in the mail would confuse them just a little bit. If PayPal is easier, then my paypal e-mail address is sharplisa@hotmail.com put PTO donation in the memo field or something. I'm planning to match your donations with 50 cents of my own for every dollar you guys contribute unless your generosity exceeds my budget!

Thanks for your support of the PTO!



Can I say here that I absolutely detest these fundraisers! The primary profit making organization is the company putting out the program, right? They take a healthy mark-up foro themselves and pass a wee portion of it back to the PTO in exchange for the child / parent labor to take these orders. The stuff is typically garbage or - if it's edible stuff especially - way over priced. I'm just writing a check. I think my $20 or whatever I decide to give them will go a lot further than whatever they'd make on my fundraising efforts. I always feel obligated to buy it for the children, but this year I don't. I don't even feel bad. Either way it's $20 lost, right? So I'd prefer to have it all go to the PTO than get merchandise I'd value at $2.00 for my $20 with the PTO maybe seeing $5 of that. Is that wrong?

Oh and if you're a loyal blog reader and want to donate? Leave me a comment and I'll tell you where to send your check - or just use paypal.

Thanks!

It's the most wonderful time...

of the year. The time when you attempt to dress your darlings in the morning only to discover that nothing fits them! Pesky season changes...

In our house, we've got a couple of boys that live in shorts and sandals (well, they did live in sandals until they got to daycare and had to ~whine~ wear shoes and socks because of the wood chips on the playground) every day from the first day it's warm enough to do so until, evidently, the last day they should be doing it in the fall. The day before yesterday would have been the last day. The weather here now is just wonderful. The mornings are crisp. The colors are starting to turn and the Khan has nothing to wear.

Shopping for His Excellency is no small task. When Bratticus and Ogre were younger, they were pretty simple. Occasionally, we'd have issues but until Ogre hit the point where his legs were long and his waist was skinny, it wasn't too bad. At the 30 x 36 pants size stage, I switched to ordering them from a catalog and we still had no problems. Trust me. Ordering his pants from the JC Penney catalog during the middle and high school years saved his life. I love him, but I do not love shopping with him. The Khan is a different story. Well, maybe not such a different story because I don't like shopping with him either. PITA doesn't cover it.

Some of my loyal readers (all 4 or 5 of you ;) ) are parents and know this but for those of you that are not parents, I'll explain. Every year when children get their annual well-child exams, their height and weight are plotted on a chart to see how they compare with other children their size. The Senator is at the 15th percentile. He'll be ten but his pants are a size seven slim - for a point of reference. He doesn't like being smaller than most kids, but we can still usually manage to shop for him.

The Khan is a different tale. He's at the 5th percentile. This means that 95% of children his age are larger than he is. The pants he's outgrown are size 12 months (maybe 18?) and he will be five years old in January. He's a skinny little fellow. The primary problem is that clothing made in these infant and toddler sizes usually allow room for a diaper because, well, one and two year old children tend to wear a diaper. The Khan is four. He doesn't. The net result is that if the pants are long enough (long being relative) they are HUGE in the waist. He doesn't have a chubby little baby belly (never did, actually) and he doesn't wear a diaper. If they fit his waist, the pants will likely be at least an inch too short. UGH. And he has zero pants that fit him. It's do or die today folks. I must find pants for his majesty and I must find them today.

Did I mention that I hate shopping? My own wardrobe would send Natalia into fits. Every day: knit shirt, khaki pants and one of two primary pairs of shoes. I'm going to try to branch out and buy a couple of cute jackets today. Wish me luck.

Today was a better day...

Except of course for the freakish thing that makes my right eye now look like this. Yes, I know it's gross. You don't have to tell me. It doesn't hurt though so that's a plus.

The upper - upper division class went much better today -at least I thought so. We actually covered the subject rather than the intro and now I know to do the intro all in one day rather than divide it into two days. Maybe next semester I'll do the syllabus and a video on the first day and then go into Chapter 1 and the project the second day. That'll be better. I'm planning to show videos from the "Ultimate Factories" series on the National Geographic Channel. What are your thoughts? Cool? Not Cool? Thursday's class this week will be cool. I'm showing "Slasher". I see it as a study in ethics because the main character does some things in the name of getting the sale that are just not right and, unfortunately, not fake.

I got e-mail today from the Finance Department chair asking if I'm interested in teaching a section of "International Finance" in the Spring. What did I say?

Alienated...

I am not going to lie. Several thoughts are going through my brain at the moment.

First, I think I have lost my loyal blog readers entirely and should just quit blogging altogether. I'm down to two or three hits a day and at least one of them is me. I stop by. I look around, check the sitemeter and then I think "meh!"

Second, if you write a blog and no one reads it - is it still a blog?

Third: I think I am the worst teacher ever. Do you know how much training you get before they send you out to fall flat on your face in front of a room full of upper level students? ZERO. The first week of school was awful in one class and ~shrug~ I guess okay in the other. One class I think will go just fine. The other really bothers me. It should be easy but I mistakenly thought I could get some dialog going that just didn't happen last week. I allowed too much time for too little work. This week will be different. I've got tomorrow planned to be busy and a movie to take up the whole lecture period on Thursday. It's a pretty decent movie that a professor played in my graduate level marketing class. I plan to make it an ethics discussion and since we won't have time after the movie, I'll do it on the discussion board in D2L (like Blackboard if you have that). Wish me luck. This is a tough crowd.

Last, it would appear that all of that bullshit from people about wanting us back here was just that. Do you know how many social invitations we've received in the last two months? It is less than one. And none of those we've issued have been accepted. Silly us! We thought a game night would be fun. We invited ten groups, two showed up. I am so sick of sitting home alone every damn weekend that I could just scream. Why don't people like me? Anyone know?

I'll blog more if you peeps comment more. Deal? I miss you. Maybe I'll even resurrect the SOB of the week. This week Mike Vick has my vote, but I'm sure I could fill the pipeline if I try.