Wednesday, October 24, 2007

What if we throw a party and no one comes?

Sarge and I plan on renewing our wedding vows this year. It's important to me because, well, the first thirteen years had their ups and downs (mostly downs on some fronts and mostly ups on others) and we're still together. I think that's cool. Isn't it cool? Okay, maybe it's not cool.

Regardless, since cool isn't my specialty, renewing our marriage vows means a lot to me and, because it's not a "milestone" year - the 5th, 10th, 15th, etc.- it feels right to do it now. Think if it as a way of saying every year is worth celebrating. After Kuwait, after the PCS move from hell and in the middle of the puddle of poop the rest of our life is seems like the right time to remind ourselves that what really matters is us. The constant in the past decade and a half is that we have one another and the knowledge of that seems to help us get through everything (even if it is eventually).

The other reason is that, while not a "bible-thumper" per se, I feel like it is important to bring our faith into our marriage. Partly, it feels right for us to receive the sacrament of marriage because I feel very blessed to have the husband I do and the children that we share (I am blocking out the time when I was ready to kill them). And partly to cement the fact that we are married. Yes, it's a political statement somewhat. I don't feel that government needs to define marriage between a man and a woman. My religion did that for me. I don't care if "Jake" and "Josh" want to live together and share benefits. Go for it. Participate in a cermony officiated by a government official or person authorized by the government to make it official and have fun. If your church extends you the sacrament of marriage - so be it. So I'm feeling that it is time for Sarge and I to be "married".

But here's the real problem: When we got married the first time - almost no one came. Thirteen years later it still hurts. Is it okay to not invite people because we know they won't come and it will just piss me off when that happens? You know, not invite them because they won't come anyway? If that is the case, how do we know who to share our day with? How can we convince them it'll be special?

Oh and uh... how do we have a party with no money?


Tal said...

Yay! It's not at all geeky! It sucks so hard that people didn't come the first time. Peole suck.

I can tell you that for her wedding two years ago, my mother invited just the "imporatnt" people. Their best friends, and the kids. That's all. And it was so fun because it was really about being with people we loved and not about all the stress of impressing others.

Ian said...

Don't invite them if you don't want them there. Invite the people who will know it's important and make an effort to show up. Those are the ones who should be there, anyway.

Party with no money... I've got nothing.

Anonymous said...

I think it will all work out as long as you don't plan it during
I think it's a GREAT idea!!!

janiece said...

You know my schedule--I'll be there if I can. And if I can't be there in person--I'll be there in thought and heart! The money will work itself out--I've found that happens to me alot. And it's not geeky--I think it's sweet wonderful and very special!