But I can't. I've got a terrible habit that has pained me for about, oh... 25 years. Maybe more. Since the days of this guy:
And this guy:
See, back then? They were like dark chocolate. So good. Rewarding. Basking in the glow of victory. It was, for lack of a better word, AWESOME to be a Redskins fan. Suck it Cowboys. We're winners. We've won super bowls. You? You're America's Most Wanted Team. We had The Coach, The Hogs, the Diesel and the Piglet. We. Had. It. All.
And, like crack, you hooked me. The Redskins and I were one. I shared your success. I mourned your losses. Your heartbreak was my heartbreak. Every year since 1991, you have broken my heart. Thanks. I'll be over here crying in my beer. Please, if it's not too much trouble? Could you finish the year 10 and 6? Thanks. Making the playoffs would be even better. Beating the Cowboys in Dallas this week? That would be PRICELESS!